It’s been a while! I hope this new website and new lifestyle will bring me to a discipline with blogging. I have to fill the void somehow. Might as well get productive with things. The website needs to have content on it in some form! This is a blog that I started back in September 2019, but I don’t think I ever got around to finishing it or posting it. However, it does not make it totally irrelevant to myself today…in fact, it is remarkably still quite relevant. It is actually a reflection of something I did one year ago, almost to this very date. So let’s begin…

Have you ever had conversations with yourself? Maybe you have an inner pulse that’s making plans, assessing options, second-guessing decisions, or just fantasizing about the future. These thoughts are often caught in the net of anxiety, but can also be freed in imagination or even organized planning. I’ve been in this kind of state for the better part of 6 months.

I was trapped in my own thoughts and I was feeling scattered. I tried to turn this into a production catalyst—by forcing my constant thought into creative outlets. Much of it goes to waste though, like diving your hand into the bottom of a wave in hopes to get the perfect shell…but instead, you’re looking into a handful of sand. The calculated lifestyle/outlook that I programmed into myself was greatly challenged by a new daily routine that involved having to take the subway, go to physical therapy, and consistent lingering exhaustion. Through the dog days of winter, February through April [2019], I was grasping for motivation.

The fantasy of leaving would frequent my daily commutes. Each time I would entertain the idea more and more, attracting goals, plans, and destinations. Finally, an opportunity came: Spring Break. This short week provided me with feelings of fulfillment and a better understanding of serenity. I had something to look forward to.

I started planning, but I wanted to keep it simple. I’ve planned tours before with Warpark, so I wasn’t totally trying something new. This plan had no expectations, no deadlines, no threats of inefficiency, and above all: no worrying. I finally felt in control of my life. I decided where I was going and what I was doing without any fear.

I ended up landing in Philadelphia, Baltimore, Richmond, Raleigh, and Asheville. 5 days, 5 cities, 7 open mic sets, 1500 miles, and many nights spent in the van. All I received was positivity. Some shows better than others, some had more welcoming people, but it was all positive. I’ll tell those stories sometime.

Looking back all I really did was drive down I-95 and show up to some random open mics, but the point was that I actually did it. I turned a daydream into a reality. It was the first time in weeks that I actually felt happy with what I was doing and why I was doing it. To me, happiness exists in moments…and this was a moment that I really needed.

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