It’s been a while! I hope this new website and new lifestyle will bring me to a discipline with blogging. I have to fill the void somehow. Might as well get productive with things. The website needs to have content on it in some form! This is a blog that I started back in September 2019, but I don’t think I ever got around to finishing it or posting it. However, it does not make it totally irrelevant to myself today…in fact it is remarkably still quite relevant. It is actually a reflection of something I did one year ago, almost to this very date. So let’s begin…
Setting Things Straight
10/3/21
Ever just stop and ask yourself “wait…why am I doing this?” Or maybe you found yourself in a place you didn’t really plan on being in when you first began your journey. Maybe doubts start setting in, as if to say you should be in a better place…or you should be having more “success” than what you’re currently experiencing. Before these thoughts spiral out of control, you then have to snap back into reality and get back to the point…“why am I doing this?”
About 10 years ago I started my career as a musician in New York City and had my first shows playing with a band. There was always this pipe dream in the back of my head about getting into the ‘scene’. At 19 years old, I just jumped into whatever I could. Got my hands X’ed and headed to local spots in Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Queens. Saw local bands opening for national headliners, all local bills, house shows, dive bars, cafe open mics, punk matinees, and networked the best I could (my social skills were not very good back then…and I really looked like an angsty teenager). I got close with some promoters, venue booking, band members, and even some local barflies in the interest of getting together some sense of unity. My initial idea was to create some kind of digital scene-zine. Something for the artists—and by the artists…because I think the biggest thing I learned is that no matter where I was or whom I was seeing, artists’ strongest and most reliable support was themselves.
Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I really thought some all-for-one-and-one-for-all form of media could band together like-minded artists who need support. I was drawing inspiration from things like the Deli magazine, NextMosh.com, Brooklyn Vegan, Village Voice, TimeOut magazine, and even local band DIY Facebook groups. I felt like I could take aspects from all these things and make something that really served to support the local scene better than those things did. After a few years of playing shows, meeting different people, seeing venues close, bands dissolve, promoters quit…ultimately I came to the realization that I may be in a bit over my head. Things in New York City just moved so fast and I honestly didn’t know much about making a zine. Once THE YIPPIE CAFE CLOSED, I really thought I couldn’t even keep up with the communities that I wanted to keep alive.
Around that time I stumbled upon DISPATCHES FROM THE UNDERGROUND and the world of podcasting. Something that I thought I could do myself so the rug couldn’t be pulled out from under me. I’ll admit that at first it started A LITTLE LIKE THIS, but once I could get it together…the Part-Time Artist podcast emerged with the goal of uniting artists that have to do almost everything themselves and are looking to share experience while promoting their works. Real life people that are trying to make it happen for themselves and support their own creations. The goal is still the same and I hope to keep meeting new artists from all corners of the earth to see how they manage themselves, battle anxieties, and ultimately how they find success.
So now what?
Taking a page out of the lifestyle of Henry Rollins, I really wanted to continue expanding on being creative outside of being in BANDS. The podcast was the first step (this December marking the 7th year!) and the website gives way to centralize the other outlets. I made a habit of looking at what others were doing, thinking ‘I could do that’, and then giving it a shot. I call that the Warhol effect. I did some streaming for a while, but my setup quickly turned to being practically obsolete–I will find a way to return to it somehow. With the blog awaiting new entries and Youtube awaiting more uploads, the table is now set for me to put things out there…and to keep it up. That is the ultimate goal right now—to keep putting things out there and connect with like-minded folks that share a similar journey.
Since fleeing to Philadelphia at the beginning of the lockdown, then moving to South Philly last year, I’ve had to battle to keep my creative identity. At first I really thought I would enjoy the isolation, and I really did most of the time, but self-doubt and nihilism can suffocate the motivation to create. Days and weeks went by as I established different survival routines and battled the existential dread in order to just reinvent my life. Now that I finally feel more stable I am hoping to combat the chronophobic tendencies and accept things for what they are. I am most likely always going to be creating part-time and hustling for money. I’m not sure if that’s the best way to have a stable future but it seems to be the only way to make things work.
Finishing this website is probably the biggest thing for me this past couple years. It’s a driving force to remind me of things that I’ve done, as well as what I should put out next. If you’re like me it’s always “onto the next thing” and rarely is there a moment to feel satisfied with anything. Creations are never finished, only abandoned.
Hopefully this post achieves what the title intended—feel free to contact me below with any tips and subscribe+share.
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