How I’m Fitting Into A New World (Part 1)


Life is always going to be about rolling with the punches, adapting…surviving. The famous Rollins quote of “half of life is fucking up and the other half is dealing with it.” Today’s world proves to have quite a different gameplan. There are far less rules and require far more backup plans. Everyone seems to be navigating differently. If you are out there looking at your neighbor and thinking that their path is right for you, you might just end up in a very different place than you intended. One thing seems to reign supreme now: figure out what works for you.

This sentiment was more or less always around, lingering toward people who had a different consciousness than those who were just going with the flow. Those who placed all their control into fulfilling their destiny and those who needed to lead their own direction came together on a similar aspect as this. Even the slackers of the world can be viewed as those who are really just figuring out their place of hanging out and getting through the day. Some days we all need to simplify things to that level.

My takeaway from the American education system, the media, my upbringing, and how society moves in the big cities is that the great pressure of becoming an adult is figuring out what you’ll contribute to society (but also mostly just making money). Figuring out who you are became synonymous with what you’ll do. Similarly, the ultimate goal is trying to fit what you want to do into what is available…while it also being something you’re good at. The sliver of overlap in that triple venn-diagram is the perfect situation.

So what the hell do we do now?

This current job market, creative industry, and show business in general, all seem to have no idea what to do (neither do our representatives it seems). The days of staying home, social distancing, even wearing a goddamn mask indoors seem to be completely gone and now once again we just have to fend for ourselves. Here’s where I am at with all this so far:

My ultimate goal has always been to create and for all these creations to generate enough income that I don’t need a full-time job. (Hopefully y’all can help me out and subscribe to the blog below and follow the socials). I’d like to be able to get by with part-time or side hustle type gigs and create things outside of that. Now in my head, if I take a full-time or some sort of seriously committed job, I’m already failing at my goal even if I’m using that income to invest into my goal later on. Mentally, it would be hard to not feel the pains of waking up every day to do the thing I’m trying to avoid doing in my future.

That’s what I did in New York pre-COVID and that helped me generate enough savings to buy the van, move out, and support myself living these past few years. But looking back on all that, I struggle to think about having to do it again. I’m leaning less into the “what I’m good at/what makes money” part of that venn-diagram and more into what I want to do. Grinding and investing into creating and hoping it can turn into something that can make a little bit of money, but mostly just grow into something I can hang my hat on.

As unemployment and COVID support cut me off, the anxiety of digging into my savings whilst I had little to no income grew day by day. I believe this started around September 2021. I already secured a part-time (20 hrs/month) gig (per my grandma’s networking) and had somewhat of a handle on a Medicaid application, but still needed something to pay the rent. I decided to embrace my inner millennial.

Sometimes it’s best to steer right into the storm rather than endlessly try avoiding it…embracing technology is one of those things. As much as I hate being on my phone, I really use it a lot (but no, I still don’t have Venmo). After weeks of hunting for remote/part-time work on job sites (and getting nowhere), I decided to check out some of the food delivery apps. They boasted on their advertising how flexible it is while having a very high hourly pay on average. I also wanted to keep my options open, so I also applied to some restaurants that needed servers (trying something new, maybe making some quick cash), applied for some babysitting gigs (through another phone app), and lastly sent a few applications to some afterschool jobs (good wages and it’s what I’ve worked in the past).

I cast out all the lines to see how many bites I’d get. It took a couple of months, but the end result was facing a decision: take the job I knew how to do/commit to a day job with stable pay OR risk trying to hustle through these apps and part-time gigs. I talked to a lot of friends and family, even folks on the PODCAST, and ultimately I think I need to start grinding at what I want and not take what’s safe. As I approach my 30th year of life, I need to start taking some risks.

Until next time…





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